How to Thoroughly Embarrass Yourself at a University Social Event: A Guide

Questionably Adultish

Step 1:

Arrive far, far too early

Step 2:

Decide that being too early isn’t cool

Step 3:

Walk around for 40 minutes until it’s appropriate to actually enter the building

NOTE: Step 3 is best undertaken while on the phone to your best friend

Step 4:

Enter building and look really lost

Step 5:

Find someone who looks similarly lost and cling to them desperately, they are your lifesaver

Step 6:

Get really, really drunk with your lifesaver and whomever else you can talk into shots

Step 7:

Have extra shots

Step 8:

Become “The Girl/Guy Who Sculls Stuff”

Step 9:

Take a trip to the bathroom and as you stare into the toilet bowl question your choices in life

Step 10:

Buy another drink

Step 11:

Meet someone, exchange details and promise to contact them

Step 12:

Totally forget everything that person said and what they look like

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